Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz talks about the zigzag path that we all take to our goal. Like a sailboat on the sea, it rarely is going directly in a straight line to the destination. It requires many corrections.
Last night I had a dream of climbing a mountain and then seeing a trail map after the fact that showed our path. It wasn't a straight line.
It was a combination of directions, rarely in a direct line with the goal of the pinnacle, numerous switchbacks. Such a great metaphor, and one that I prefer to the sailboat heading across the sea.
Climbing a mountain is hard, and it can wear us out, become dangerous, if we try to take it on without consideration of our limitations or the obstacles. But paying attention to the really steep parts, we can continue to make progress up the mountain by taking a path across the mountain.
It can look like we're not moving toward our destination, our goal. It looks like I am going the other way, and that the goal is slipping out of sight.
When we are patient and constantly moving with the intention of reaching the top, anything is possible.
This is really useful to me so that I can be gentle with myself when progress seems elusive, when the path doesn't seem to be going to the top. I can be more patient knowing that progress isn't only made in the direction of the goal, but in the intention and persistence. Keep moving the feet, keep my eye on the prize.
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Peace
Larry
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Fail Early, Fail Often
As I read "Making Things Happen" by Scott Belsky, I found out that Seth Godin, a prolific author who creates many products, attributes his success to the fact that he "ships". He doesn't wait around to see if an idea is perfect or not, he executes the idea and ships it out to see the results.
The fact is, he fails much more often than he succeeds.
I'm reminded in this lesson of many of us who have a fear of success. There are many things around the fear of success that are intangible.
Could that fear really be fear of failure?
In order to find success, we must risk the possibility of failure. A baseball player fails 70% of the time. A great basketball player misses 50% of his/her three pointers. Seth Godin claims that his failures far outweigh his successes.
What if we approached success with the full knowledge that failure is imminent? What if we looked at failure as inevitable, even desirable. Knowing the percentages, we will encounter success only with a good dose of failure mixed in.
And we can let go of our attachment to our perfection so that failure loses its emotional charge as a bad thing. If failure is actually a badge of honor and a positive attribute that opens the door to success, will we be more likely to embrace opportunities that might result in failure?
It is this change of perspective that will free me from paralysis by analysis. It is the new paradigm of "failure is my friend" that will create the opportunities for my full potential of success.
Comment, follow me.
Peace,
Larry
The fact is, he fails much more often than he succeeds.
I'm reminded in this lesson of many of us who have a fear of success. There are many things around the fear of success that are intangible.
Could that fear really be fear of failure?
In order to find success, we must risk the possibility of failure. A baseball player fails 70% of the time. A great basketball player misses 50% of his/her three pointers. Seth Godin claims that his failures far outweigh his successes.
What if we approached success with the full knowledge that failure is imminent? What if we looked at failure as inevitable, even desirable. Knowing the percentages, we will encounter success only with a good dose of failure mixed in.
And we can let go of our attachment to our perfection so that failure loses its emotional charge as a bad thing. If failure is actually a badge of honor and a positive attribute that opens the door to success, will we be more likely to embrace opportunities that might result in failure?
It is this change of perspective that will free me from paralysis by analysis. It is the new paradigm of "failure is my friend" that will create the opportunities for my full potential of success.
Comment, follow me.
Peace,
Larry
Monday, September 20, 2010
How To Win Friends
I'm working on a live online program using the classic "How To Win Friends And Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Tim Burgess requested this program to conduct for his clients. This book was written in 1936 and is as relevant today.
Today I am assembling the first two weeks of guides for the actual group discussions. This is always very exciting for me, because it is the time that I intuitively bring together the most insightful quotes from the book, and my intense questions that will be the springboard for the participants to discover their unique wisdom.
As is usually the case, I have more material than is appropriate for the time allotted for each call.
This is an powerful book which I wish I had read when I was 20 years old. I can only imagine the difference it would have made in my life! It is already making a difference in my ability to accomplish things in my life.
Because we can do a little when we work alone, but great things are possible when we work together...
Today I am assembling the first two weeks of guides for the actual group discussions. This is always very exciting for me, because it is the time that I intuitively bring together the most insightful quotes from the book, and my intense questions that will be the springboard for the participants to discover their unique wisdom.
As is usually the case, I have more material than is appropriate for the time allotted for each call.
This is an powerful book which I wish I had read when I was 20 years old. I can only imagine the difference it would have made in my life! It is already making a difference in my ability to accomplish things in my life.
Because we can do a little when we work alone, but great things are possible when we work together...
Monday, September 13, 2010
I got a rock 2.0
After playing with rocks for an afternoon, I was truly content. I had fun. Rocks to me are treasures. I keep stacks of them in my yard, 3 and 4 feet high. I feel wealthy when I have piles of rocks.
I'm guessing that not everyone feels that way about rocks. As a matter of fact, I've heard some people curse them, as they seem to multiply in their yard, only to reach out for an ankle or a mower blade.
Perhaps this is the epitome of looking for the good in things. A rock is meaningless until a human gives it beauty or usefulness or distain.
This is a great opportunity to look at how I see the other rocks in my life. Do I look for the beauty and fun in all the aspects of my life? Is the detritus of my life mentally rejected and discarded as ugly and useless? Or can I find the beuaty of things and situations in a new context?
My rocks only acquire beauty and wealth in the presence of the context that I create for them. I can also accept the negative or positive context that someone else is only too happy to hand me.
My choice....
Peace
Larry
P.S. Leave a comment, follow me, make my day....
I'm guessing that not everyone feels that way about rocks. As a matter of fact, I've heard some people curse them, as they seem to multiply in their yard, only to reach out for an ankle or a mower blade.
Perhaps this is the epitome of looking for the good in things. A rock is meaningless until a human gives it beauty or usefulness or distain.
This is a great opportunity to look at how I see the other rocks in my life. Do I look for the beauty and fun in all the aspects of my life? Is the detritus of my life mentally rejected and discarded as ugly and useless? Or can I find the beuaty of things and situations in a new context?
My rocks only acquire beauty and wealth in the presence of the context that I create for them. I can also accept the negative or positive context that someone else is only too happy to hand me.
My choice....
Peace
Larry
P.S. Leave a comment, follow me, make my day....
I got a rock....
"I got a rock," I said as I got in the car. In my hand was a rock with a hole in it that was at my feet as I finished the stone arch.
I often use that line from Peanuts' "The Great Pumpkin" cartoon wherein Charlie Brown gets a rock at every house when they are Trick-or-treating. He sounds so disappointed, but I love rocks. I can spend hours in a creek playing with rocks, looking at rocks, collecting rocks, skipping rocks.
Today was just such a day. Exploring a tiny little state park in Northern Kentucky that wad gifted by a couple who had enjoyed the beautiful serenity of this patch of peace, I found myself at the shore of the Licking River about 50 miles from its joining the Ohio River.
The dearth of rainfall left many rocks exposed, including a lot of thin large rocks that are ideal for so many fun activities, as mentioned above. So I got a rock to stand on edge, stacked rocks into an arch a la Andy Goldsworthy http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/10013111.html, and as much fun as I can have with a pile of rocks.
The arch was the first one that I had built, ever, and I was so excited to see it still standing after removing all the supporting stones. The arch defied gravity, weight, and assumptions about its construction.
Though Andy always records his work on "film", I was sans digital imagers. On the way to the park we had driven through a downpour, so I left the cell phone in the car.
One of Andy's hallmark is that some of his work is intentionally temporary, which emphasizes the process rather than the product. So leaving the arch and the large standing rocks in the center of the river bed would ensure that their tenacious balance would be quickly eroded by rising waters. The only witness to my creative energy and process would be a few neurons in our brains that would capture a fading image of stone constructs.
Then again, perhaps the image will become more vivid and fantastic with time. My choice....
Leave a comment, "follow" my blog...
See the next blog for the metaphysical meaning....
I often use that line from Peanuts' "The Great Pumpkin" cartoon wherein Charlie Brown gets a rock at every house when they are Trick-or-treating. He sounds so disappointed, but I love rocks. I can spend hours in a creek playing with rocks, looking at rocks, collecting rocks, skipping rocks.
Today was just such a day. Exploring a tiny little state park in Northern Kentucky that wad gifted by a couple who had enjoyed the beautiful serenity of this patch of peace, I found myself at the shore of the Licking River about 50 miles from its joining the Ohio River.
The dearth of rainfall left many rocks exposed, including a lot of thin large rocks that are ideal for so many fun activities, as mentioned above. So I got a rock to stand on edge, stacked rocks into an arch a la Andy Goldsworthy http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/10013111.html, and as much fun as I can have with a pile of rocks.
The arch was the first one that I had built, ever, and I was so excited to see it still standing after removing all the supporting stones. The arch defied gravity, weight, and assumptions about its construction.
Though Andy always records his work on "film", I was sans digital imagers. On the way to the park we had driven through a downpour, so I left the cell phone in the car.
One of Andy's hallmark is that some of his work is intentionally temporary, which emphasizes the process rather than the product. So leaving the arch and the large standing rocks in the center of the river bed would ensure that their tenacious balance would be quickly eroded by rising waters. The only witness to my creative energy and process would be a few neurons in our brains that would capture a fading image of stone constructs.
Then again, perhaps the image will become more vivid and fantastic with time. My choice....
Leave a comment, "follow" my blog...
See the next blog for the metaphysical meaning....
Monday, August 16, 2010
Feel the Pain
"Forgiveness will never fail to free you."
-- Jerrold Mundis
"How do we forgive when we’re angry and hurt?
As a first step, we can be willing to truly feel our anger and hurt. Honouring our feelings by being fully present with them helps to release the feelings themselves."
-HigherAwareness.com
This first step is absolutely critical for forgiveness. Just as important, it allows us to reduce the emotional or drama charge that a memory, person, place, or thought might have for you.
Thoughts trigger our feelings, based on the meanings that we have given to the events surrounding the thought. Without a thought, we have no feelings.
When we have negative feelings around a thought, I usually repress that feeling and stuff the thought away with the feeling still intact. The next time I pull it out, the feelings grow until I stuff it away again.
As the quote above elucidates, we must first honor, recognize, and feel the feelings that we associate with a thought in order for that feeling to dissolve and transform. When we give our feelings this time and attention, they tend to transform into joy. Really. No, really.
But first, we have to separate the feeling from the thought. We must set the thought aside, after naming the feelings that we have around that thought, and allow ourselves to sit with the feeling sans thought.
Easier said than done.
Give it a try. Let go of the thought, and sit with the feeling for a minute.
Next time that thought shows up, it will have less charge hanging on to it. Rinse and repeat.
Please share your thoughts and feelings around this idea.
Larry
www.inspiringconnection.com
www.reflect-connect.com
-- Jerrold Mundis
"How do we forgive when we’re angry and hurt?
As a first step, we can be willing to truly feel our anger and hurt. Honouring our feelings by being fully present with them helps to release the feelings themselves."
-HigherAwareness.com
This first step is absolutely critical for forgiveness. Just as important, it allows us to reduce the emotional or drama charge that a memory, person, place, or thought might have for you.
Thoughts trigger our feelings, based on the meanings that we have given to the events surrounding the thought. Without a thought, we have no feelings.
When we have negative feelings around a thought, I usually repress that feeling and stuff the thought away with the feeling still intact. The next time I pull it out, the feelings grow until I stuff it away again.
As the quote above elucidates, we must first honor, recognize, and feel the feelings that we associate with a thought in order for that feeling to dissolve and transform. When we give our feelings this time and attention, they tend to transform into joy. Really. No, really.
But first, we have to separate the feeling from the thought. We must set the thought aside, after naming the feelings that we have around that thought, and allow ourselves to sit with the feeling sans thought.
Easier said than done.
Give it a try. Let go of the thought, and sit with the feeling for a minute.
Next time that thought shows up, it will have less charge hanging on to it. Rinse and repeat.
Please share your thoughts and feelings around this idea.
Larry
www.inspiringconnection.com
www.reflect-connect.com
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Crisis - or not?
I was reading an article about crisis that cited this definition:
crisis: a decisive or critical moment.
I don't know about you, but crisis always possessed a negative impact in my mind.
It never occurred to me that it would mean a point of decision, or a tipping point.
When I think of the word crisis, I imagine several exclaimation points behind it.
Crisis!!!!
For me it indicated that things are on the verge of absolute disaster, that the balance of the universe was a-kilter, that the peace and calm had been shattered and only bad things could come from this.
But "a decisive or critical moment" might mean that it is a point of opportunity. It might mean that things are coming to a fork in the road,where we are responsible for a choice that will determine the future.
And such points of decision could be in the face of pure joy and peace, couldn't it? Well, no, I can't think of an instance, but if crisis is not about a judgment of the situation, then a fork in the road can show up in any number of forms, people, moods, feelings, thoughts.... Including fun ones.
Does that mean that all chaos presents an opportunity for a decisive moment? What if I looked at all chaotic and challenging moments as a crisis of decision and choice, a critical point to jump on one side of a fence or the other?
Intimidating for me. I'm not big on decisions. I have found that I have a big part of the 7 in the Enneagram that doesn't like to choose because then I would no longer have all the other choices available to me.
Looks like this is a great opportunity to make a decision about what I think a crisis actually is. It's a positive thing, right? I'll keep telling myself that, act on that premise, and see how my life changes with that realization.
What about you? What did the word "crisis" mean to you? What will you do with that now?
Peace & Joy
Larry
www.reflect-connect.com
www.inspiringconnection.com
crisis: a decisive or critical moment.
I don't know about you, but crisis always possessed a negative impact in my mind.
It never occurred to me that it would mean a point of decision, or a tipping point.
When I think of the word crisis, I imagine several exclaimation points behind it.
Crisis!!!!
For me it indicated that things are on the verge of absolute disaster, that the balance of the universe was a-kilter, that the peace and calm had been shattered and only bad things could come from this.
But "a decisive or critical moment" might mean that it is a point of opportunity. It might mean that things are coming to a fork in the road,where we are responsible for a choice that will determine the future.
And such points of decision could be in the face of pure joy and peace, couldn't it? Well, no, I can't think of an instance, but if crisis is not about a judgment of the situation, then a fork in the road can show up in any number of forms, people, moods, feelings, thoughts.... Including fun ones.
Does that mean that all chaos presents an opportunity for a decisive moment? What if I looked at all chaotic and challenging moments as a crisis of decision and choice, a critical point to jump on one side of a fence or the other?
Intimidating for me. I'm not big on decisions. I have found that I have a big part of the 7 in the Enneagram that doesn't like to choose because then I would no longer have all the other choices available to me.
Looks like this is a great opportunity to make a decision about what I think a crisis actually is. It's a positive thing, right? I'll keep telling myself that, act on that premise, and see how my life changes with that realization.
What about you? What did the word "crisis" mean to you? What will you do with that now?
Peace & Joy
Larry
www.reflect-connect.com
www.inspiringconnection.com
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