"Forgiveness will never fail to free you."
-- Jerrold Mundis
"How do we forgive when we’re angry and hurt?
As a first step, we can be willing to truly feel our anger and hurt. Honouring our feelings by being fully present with them helps to release the feelings themselves."
This first step is absolutely critical for forgiveness. Just as important, it allows us to reduce the emotional or drama charge that a memory, person, place, or thought might have for you.
Thoughts trigger our feelings, based on the meanings that we have given to the events surrounding the thought. Without a thought, we have no feelings.
When we have negative feelings around a thought, I usually repress that feeling and stuff the thought away with the feeling still intact. The next time I pull it out, the feelings grow until I stuff it away again.
As the quote above elucidates, we must first honor, recognize, and feel the feelings that we associate with a thought in order for that feeling to dissolve and transform. When we give our feelings this time and attention, they tend to transform into joy. Really. No, really.
But first, we have to separate the feeling from the thought. We must set the thought aside, after naming the feelings that we have around that thought, and allow ourselves to sit with the feeling sans thought.
Easier said than done.
Give it a try. Let go of the thought, and sit with the feeling for a minute.
Next time that thought shows up, it will have less charge hanging on to it. Rinse and repeat.
Please share your thoughts and feelings around this idea.