Monday, December 21, 2009

What is the meaning of this?

As I go through a day, things continue to unfold the way they do. Some of the events are results of my intentions, some seem to be happenstance. Whether I think I contributed to the event or not, there is a meaning that I assign to that event.

If I am more concerned with the control that I have had over the event, I will probably assign a lot of judgment to it. If I feel that I "performed" well and accomplished my intention, I will judge it as good, and assign a meaning of good to myself and the results. If I didn't perform well, then the meaning could well be negative, maybe even adversarial to myself.

If am more concerned with others' participation in an event, I might assign it a meaning of kindness or animosity. This is particularly true if I decide that the person's meaning was wrong or bad, and I then use that meaning to color every interaction subsequent to that decision. I have given something a meaning that may or may not have been an intention.

And even when it is an intention of the other, "good" or "bad", the meaning I give it is purely in my head. What if I were to assign a different meaning to it that relieves me of putting my personal sense of value at stake? What if I choose the meaning that any particular event will have in my life?

When we are young, events happen in our life that can seem traumatic, or dramatic, and at that point we might create a meaning around that event that becomes a rule for living. The meaning that we assigned to that event might be accurate, but by making a rule around that event for similar future events we are trapped into behaviors that are myopic and dabilitating.

In a similar way, I fall into the same trap with each event in my day if I were to assign meanings to events that become bigger than the event. And the egoic mind loves to find meaning and significance in every thing that happens in our lives.

So where can I go from here? Awareness. That is my gift in the discovery. I can now be aware of the meaning that I am assigning to my day, my hour, my minute, and reconsider that meaning in the light of what my intention is for my life.

Unless my life were lived by default, I can consciously find a higher significance - or none at all - in the thread of my day that weaves the fabric of my life.

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