Yesterday I was experiencing some vertigo, which was a bit of a surprise. But when my friend Bill brought up the idea of balance (or lack thereof) as a possible cause of the sense of vertigo, and when I took that into account, the vertigo suddenly released its grip on me. Cured by awareness.
What had happened is that someone had given me a new way of looking at things, a hidden part of myself that I was totally unaware of, that seemed to go completely against my type. But I didn't know that part of me was possible because I didn't know how much of my personality was determined by a way of being that did not honor myself. So the vertigo was about finding myself being pulled by a new way of being that was in seeming conflict and imbalance to my old way of being.
What I found was that my old way of being is to "Be Nice", to help others at the expense of myself. The reward (imagined, probably not real) was that people would like me. Maybe, maybe not. But would they really want to be around someone who sacrificed self for the sake of approval?
A new perspective at the top of the mountain, a dissying height. I can get used to that.
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