Dragging It Around

Waking up in the morning, thoughts of yesterday float through my head. And something that I regret, some little (or big) thing that I did or didn’t do, gives me a sense of remorse, maybe even guilt. Maybe in some small way I judge myself, condemn myself and look for a way of punishing myself. 

Sound familiar?

I’ve already pulled out the bat and began to beat myself up over the things done and undone. And the greatest punishment that I seemed compelled to perpetuate is the act/inaction of repeating it. Is that really necessary? Really?

What is the new attitude that will allow the release of these obstacles and momentum?

Today is a new day. I start fresh today, with the grace of an open window called today. Bringing yesterday in through that window is totally unnecessary! Each day, the grace of this Universe allows us to start fresh, without a tally of wrongs and inadequacies. Start fresh with an eye on our potential and power, the shining light of all that we were born as. 

Take off the dark glasses of ego-imposed judgment, no longer ground-focused, and look up at all the choices that serve joyful intentions and core values.

The bat I was using was the bat of the perpetuation of sabotaging my self-actualizing. It’s not only a matter of “doing” the things that are in alignment with my purpose and joy, but rather a process of forgiveness and letting go of the self-imposed sentence of a poor set of directions in conflict with my internal GPS.

This is the open door to the grace of our  untapped potential, and  the unleashing of our greatness. When we leave the guilt and resentment at the threshold, this day, this hour is the door to our present joy.

I am here for you when you need the support to create that joy.

Contrast as a Tool: What You Don't Want Is Good For You

The Law of Attraction is frequently cited for it's positive approach to creating our life, focusing on where we are going and the mindset that will make it possible. Along with this Law is the fact that the Universe is constantly showing us the opposite by default. The opposite to what we want is called "contrast."

The benefit of the appearance in our lives of contrasts to what we want, when the uncomfortable things show up in our lives, is that it crystallizes what it is that we do want. Along with the vision of what we want that shows up in the face of the contrast to what we want comes the feelings and core values that drive our best desires. Contrast can be the cattle prod to our core values and ultimate potential, waking us up to what is possible, and waking us up to the joy and passion that comes from living out those values and potential.

When a problem  or challenge shows up, you can look for the best part of you, your core values, that want to rise to the occasion. Thank the challenges for waking you up to your best. Then you can test the truth of these values by moving into action that will make it happen.

To The Least

After finding myself avoiding a friend for some unexplained reason, it took me a while to recognize the reaction as similar to something that has happened in the past with people and friends.

I feel like I can get along with most people, and I rarely find myself avoiding people or categorically rejecting them. Of course, there are some people I find toxic and avoid; there are always exceptions. Setting boundaries is healthy.

And then there are those people that I find that I like or enjoy and yet still seem to avoid coming too close. I am grateful for a new awareness around that.

Sometimes these people might confide in me how they feel about someone else. How they don't want to sit with them, or be in the room with them, and they don't like them; they are described with "Yuck."

Of course we all have opinions. Yet I find that the collaterole damage to my relationship with this person is that I avoid them. Sure, they seem to "like" me right now, but what would happen if I fell into that "Yuck" category? What if I said something that they found unfavorable?

At that point I begin to avoid them. And then a phrase occurred to me, because I saw that I knew if this person would talk about someone derisively, someone that I thought was OK, then perhaps there is little distinction between the "yuck" person and I:

• What you do to the least of my brethren, you do to me.

Now this sentence becomes personal when I speak it as my own.

Whether the words are directed at me or someone else, I can see that there is little difference in the negative comments' effect on me, my friends, and the world.

And a great opportunity to notice my own language. As much as I like to think I can separate them into categories, whatever I say about anyone, I do to all my friends.

Lakes Alive; An Avian Escort

Arriving at the park I was greeted with an empty parking lot, which meant the entire park and lake were mine to explore. And the birds, serenading me in place of children's laughter and screams, seemed to focus entirely on me.

It also meant the Rudy-dog was leash-free, which sure made him happy. And me, so that I didn't have to walk and stop at his schedule.

And that's a new focus for my walks: stopping. There seems to be a greater connection with what is in my environment when the busy-ness of walking and moving and eyes ground focused or moving over  the terrain. It is so much easier to fall into the tunnel-vision of Now when I am in a single place, alive in stillness.

Walking along the shore, it seemed that the geese were particularly relaxed today, with hardly a ripple at my approach. They stayed where they were, very close to the shore, and seemed to be waiting for me as I passed. I stopped. No response. The story of my brush with dolphins surfaced as I watched the water waving before a soft breeze.

Continuing on, the light was shimmering on the wings of bluebirds who seemed to be flying just before me, ahead of me as I approached each one of the trio of Perulas. I assumed it was coincidence that they continued to fly before me, until I rounded the western end of the lake and turned toward the east. They continued to fly in front of me, resting on branches just to the side of the trail, then flitting ahead to the next tree. At one point they had me surrounded; behind, in front, to the side.

Then a female gold finch joined in the fun, hopping and flying on the ground, holding a 10 foot buffer between us as it chirped and hopped in the grass just next to the trail.

When I stopped and stood watching them, they watched me. They didn't bother flying until I moved, and they only flew far enough ahead to create a distance that I would breech in a few steps, only to fly again to the next tree.

Just like the dolphin in the open ocean off Hawaii who glided by just inches from my out-stretched fingers...

Today I Went Stopping....

Today I decided I was taking my dog stopping, instead of walking. I took the time to stop and listen to the babbling brook, stop and watch the huge white sycamore swaying against the blue sky, stop and see my shadow stretching out in front of me in the afternoon winter sun. 

The walking/doing is wonderful exercise, energizing in its own way. And the constant motion tends to blur the passing landscape/day. When I stop, I can take in the beauty, let it wash over me, and feel its richness. Each moment became the present moment as I stopped and grounded right here, right now. Stopping was my focus, and walking got me to my stops.

Vulnerability

Listening to Krista Tippett with Brene Brown in her show http://www.onbeing.org/, the topic was vulnerability. There is a fascinating interplay between fear, vulnerability, and courage which she found through her research. Brene recognized that we often think that courage coems from strength. Her discovery is that our courage comes to us because we fear and move through that fear anyway. And most of the time that fear is in being vulnerable.

As I discussed this topic with a friend, it was fascinating that we had two separate concepts of vulnerability. My friend's concept of vulnerability is of information that one keeps hidden because of the likelihood that others would use that information about you for creating an advantage over you. In other words, exposing yourself in a certain environments that would likely result in an attack on you is the definition of vulnerability. This assumes a hostile environment, such as in a work situation where advancement thrives on tearing down fellow  team members.

Yet there are many possible ways of being vulnerable that can actually create a positive advantage for the relationship. I'm reminded of speakers who are not vulnerable, perhaps too polished, perhaps cold and analytical, who will not enjoy as much engagement from their audience. Whereas the speaker who shares personal failings and  foibles of their own life will find an audience identifying with them and trusting them to be authentic and honest.

Vulnerability can also disarm conflict. Instead of personalizing them and what they are saying, I personalize myself and my viewpoints. I can explain the facts of my position as well as quantifying the feelings that I have about it. The interesting (and fun!) aspect of this process of exposing my feelings is that there is nothing with which to argue. No one can say that my feelings are wrong or untrue. THey may say that it is stupid to feel that way, which might seem like an attack, but I am not responsible for that. If I am self-differentiated enough, I won't buy into their dialogue if it denies my feelings.

There is danger in vulnerability, and that is why courage is so necessary to engage in vulnerability. The result is connection. A risk and a reward. Is it worth it?

What Thanksgiving Means To Me

When we think of Thanksgiving, we usually think of the colonists at Plymouth Rock who had a Thanksgiving feast in their second year on the continent to celebrate the abundant harvest that year, and to share it with “the friendly Indians,” as the colonists referred to them.

After arriving on the Native Americans’ homeland in May of 1620, the first year saw starvation leaving 57 colonists out of 99 to survive the following spring.  And then an amazing thing happened.

“The friendly Indians” came to the colonists as they began to plant the fields. The Native Americans showed the colonists how to plant crops so that their harvest would be abundant.

And in Jamestown, as well, the colonists were short on agricultural skills. And, at their own peril, the Native Americans shared their corn with the colonists several times each winter over the following 3 years, despite the behavior of the colonists over that time. Over and over, Native Americans demonstrated how to co-exist and cooperate, offering peace.

What I see in Thanksgiving is the powerful demonstration of indigenous peoples to recognize the essence that is present in all peoples, even if they look different, sound different, and wear funny clothes with belts on their hats. Native Americans did not come from a place of lack. They know that we are all one, and they celebrated the abundance of the creator by sharing it, knowing that there is more than enough for everyone.