I've been paying more attention to the thoughts that I have and with "whom" I'm having them. What is my imaginary conversation about? What do I need that I am trying to get from the mental conversation?
What if we could take a minute to experience the stuff behind our thoughts, right there in the time that we are chewing on it...
Michael Beckwith points out that we can Talk to ourselves instead of talking to the world. But it's not just the talking that can change. It's the feelings that come with them.
Young children have no trouble being angry with you in one minute, and then sharing their toys with you the next. That's because they live and experience the feelings in that moment. After experiencing those feelings to their full extent, they can let go and release the event that caused them.
There is no resentment ("feel again") because the event no longer has a charge, and there is nothing to feel again.
My goal is to look at my mental conversations as signposts to feel. To step into the feeling of that conversation and see what are the feelings that I bring with it that are waiting to be honored. To express compassion for those feelings of frustration, anger, guilt, as well as the feelings of kindness, love, and joy.
When I stop the mental conversations for a minute, it will be hard to let go of that cast of characters and my judgments of them long enough to look within at my own stuff. I've gotten used to dissociating from myself by looking out there for distraction. And it's a good change.
3 comments:
To me this concept is all about being present, being fully present in the moment. If you allow yourself to be fully present to that conversation with yourself, you will allow yourself to experience the emotion associated with that moment and move on, having learned what you need to learn. Only when we learn to be present in the moment for ourselves and others, having fully experienced those moments, can we begin to leave the extra baggage behind because there will be no need to carry it forward...my two cents worth...
YES! YES! YES!
Your experience of using these internal conversations as 'signposts to feel' is a wonderful perspective I will try to apply. At times when I really listen to my own internal chatter, I see that much of it boils down to comparison and judgment. That awareness may end a particular conversation, but the theme returns. Now I see why. I'm grateful for your encouragement to honor the associated feelings, with compassion. Thank you for sharing that, Larry.
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