Sunday, September 27, 2009

I woke on a Sunday with my mind in a whirlwind, jumping from task to task, admonishments heavy in their trail, a certain dread at all the commitments and deadlines that I had lined up.

I began to see it as my life, as the substance of my day. And it begged the question: Am I living my life, or is my life living me? And in that moment, I knew that it was only a shift of thought and perspective that would allow me to be a participant instead of a tool in the unfolding of each day.

I found a renewed sense of commitment to being present and observing; observing my life, as well as observing my immersion in it. To fully participate in the little things that make up my day. Maybe most importantly, I will find the vision of joy that will lead me to my greatest moments.

What is my vision of my life? What is it that I want to create? When I observe and cherish that vision, I act in concert with that vision, and I act in concert with the Universe that is happy as hell to give it to me.

On Sundays I sometimes grab Wayne Muller's Sabbath, and open it randomly. I read an essay to get me into the mood of the day. And today the essay was "Beginner's Mind". To accept that I don't know what will happen, to accept that I don't know how to get there. And to let go of what has come before and start fresh. To begin the week embracing the unknown.

Perhaps the mist is removed from where I am right now, just a bit. Perhaps I am not my work. Perhaps I am open to each and every soul that comes into my life today. Perhaps my vision is focused less on what is mine to do, and more focused on where I am right now. For a little while.

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